Communication is the lifeline for any successful relationship be it spiritual or physical. In marriage communication is the lifeline of marital harmony. It's the fuel that ignites the passion of love and care in the marriage institution. A lot has been said about communication in marriage by great marital counselors yet the chaos witness daily in marital crises and breakdown is greatly alarming.
Communication in marriage is not limited to vocal expression alone, although that is highly important. I am looking at the untold dimension of marital communication which is really the cause of marital breakdown. Mind communication is the greatest secret to marital success.
While one may express feelings in words, actions it may not really be the true reflection of what is going on within the partner. As a result of this, tension builds up within which alters the direction and energy of thoughts. Marriage is sustained by thoughts and imaginations not really by outward actions. When couples' thoughts are harmonious, that is the mindset as per the marriage is filled with positive projections, it is difficult for such marriage to collapse.
One can therefore say the true pillar of marital success is mind-communication. Thoughts are energies that can be used positively or negatively. A certain trend of thoughts brought the marriage into existence, it will require equal or greater thoughts to sustain the marriage and enjoy marital bliss. Your marriage becomes your thoughts with time. There are lots of things couples are not vocal about but project such through the mind. Your partner becomes what you think predominantly about him. This is just the truth. Those things you say or think in your mind about your spouse can either solidify your marriage or weaken your marriage.
The unspoken word within is stronger than the spoken word without. The unspoken word within is empowered by the will and feeling aspect of the subconscious mind. When you see couples quarrel and one of them becomes really angry and making negative remarks about the other partner that is only a fraction of what has been built within. It's like a volcanic eruption. The one you see is only a fraction of what is submerged within.
When your mindset becomes corrupt with anger, hatred, jealousy, bitterness etc. , you are likely to see loopholes to assert your negative mindset. Unknown to you dangerous communication is going on between you and your partner. Your partner may not be aware initially but gradually he will begin to respond in kind, especially if you have a stronger mindset power that him. When he begins to respond to your communication unconsciously that will then reinforce your beliefs about the negative conviction you are having. This can also be from the man to the woman. Since your mind communication has become negative, it will affect the way you now view things in your marriage. You begin to get what you expect not what you truly want or desire. In reality, your partner automatically meets your expectation.
The more negative your mind becomes, the more negative your marriage becomes also. The issue is not with your partner but with you. It means you need to take a sober look of your mindset towards your marriage and change it. Chaotic marriage can work if couples will humble themselves and be sincere about their true inner feelings to one another. Express the negative feelings you are having to your partner, no matter how hurting it may be. In most cases your mindset has been controlled by assumptions not reality.
When all have been said, couples should forgive each other and ask for the grace of God for courage to keep the mind thinking and communicating the right thing. The mind should be centered on reading The Bible, good books and tapes. Above all couples should learn to practice meditation and visualization. See your partner the way you want her to be and with time you will see such manifesting in your partner's life. The untold marital mind communication when handled wisely will produce great marital tranquility.